Drinking Dutch Coffee

Drinking Coffee The method of drinking Dutch coffee is an art in itself:

  1. Check that all the necessary components are present: cup of piping hot coffee; dwarf-sized spoon or stirring stick; condensed or powdered milk; and sugar.
  2. Support cup in one hand. If a saucer is provided, do not hold the cup, but grip the saucer as if it were a Frisbee about to be thrown.
  3. Add milk to cup to colour (optional).
  4. Add sugar to cup to taste (optional).
  5. Stir continuously until cool enough to drink. If you use sugar cubes, pound the lump until dissolved, then stir vigorously for the remainder of the cooling period. If you added milk and/or granulated sugar, alternate between clockwise and counter-clockwise stirring. If you drink your coffee black, stir however you choose. The important thing is to stare hypnotically into the cup while you stir.
  6. Remove stirring implement from cup. Tap wet end 2-4 times on the rim of the cup. This indicates to your colleagues that you have completed the stirring phase and are about to enter the drinking phase.
  7. Return stirring implement to cup.
  8. Hold cup with fingers and thumb diametrically opposed. (If a saucer is present, do not use the hand holding the Frisbee.) If the cup has a handle, insert middle two fingers through the handle. Extend index finger upwards and across the cup to clamp the stirring implement against the far end of the cup. This is important as it prevents the thing from entering your nose in step 9.
  9. Raise cup to mouth and slurp loudly while drinking. After first slurp, announce “lekkere koffie, hoor!”

'Some of us drink from the fountain of Life; others just gargle.' - Unknown